A premarital counseling session will make you understand your roles as a husband and wife and help you prepare for yourselves for the marriage. Here is a list of questions that you can expect at a counseling session.
Many couples, who are planning to get married, often go in for premarital counseling. It helps people in relationships to handle themselves better and avoid any kind of misunderstandings that may arise, after they start living together post marriage. Although, many couples these days opt for counseling, still, there are many who are not aware about it and how it helps. Given below is a list derived from premarital counseling questionnaires which most counselors follow. Be honest while answering these questions and you will be surprised to see how much you have known about each other.
COUNSELING QUESTIONS ON FINANCIAL MATTERS
How do you plan for financial sustainability?
Do you want to blend your finances? If yes, how do you plan to do that?
Are you under any kind of loan?
Have you taken medical insurance?
Do you have any retirement plans?
Have you invested in any savings and investment plans?
Have you made a will?
If a spouse dies, how will you divide your finances?
In case there is a divorce, how will the money be divided?
How much of your income do you normally invest?
How do you plan to organize your daily expenses?
QUESTIONS ON RELATIONSHIP ISSUES
If there is any misunderstanding between both of you, how will you settle it?
Do you feel that your partner does not understand you, especially when you have had an argument?
Whenever you have a conflict, are you able to resolve it? Or do you feel that it can never be resolved?
Does your partner easily express his/her feelings?
Are there any habits or traits of your partner which you dislike immensely?
Is there anything about your partner that turns you off or which you want that he or she should change?
Are you comfortable talking about sex with your partner?
Do you think that your partner satisfies you sexually?
COUNSELING QUESTIONS ON LIFE AFTER MARRIAGE
How will you share the housework in your home after marriage?
Who will make the family budget?
How important are friends and family to you? Is there anything specific about your family and friends which you would like to share with your spouse?
Do you want to have children?
How much time, daily, can you give to your children? Will you take equal responsibility in raising your children?
Where will you live post retirement?
Do you think that your plans and goals for the future will be made by giving priority to your family first?
CHRISTIAN PREMARITAL COUNSELING QUESTIONS
Is Jesus the Lord of your life? Will you give your life for your religion?
Has Jesus brought the two of you together? Do you think that he will bless you as a married couple?
Do you think that you will remain committed in this marriage till the end of your life?
How can spirituality help your relationship to grow?
Do you follow the spiritual beliefs, values, and customs of the church?
Have you been sexually active with people other than your fiance? If yes, have you told each other about it?
Will you share your Christian beliefs with your children? How will you do that?
Many relationship experts believe that a counseling session may help couples prepare for a successful married life. These days, counselors make the couples undergo a test, to check their compatibility in long-term relationships. After all, to make a long-term relationship work, a couple needs trust, understanding, mutual respect, and similar values and goals. Marriage is one of the most significant events in a person's life. So it requires an equal amount of selfless love and nurturing from both the partners to blossom into a beautiful and strong relationship with time. Good Luck!
Knowing your partner well before you get into a marriage is crucial. Here are a few compatibility test questions for 'couples to be', so that you know what to look for.
Compatibility Tests for Couples
These questions can be asked by either of the partner. In fact it is your instinctive nature, that will make you ponder over things, before getting into a marriage.
Q1: If I get back home after a long hard day at office, will you help me fix the dinner, clean the dishes and put everything back? This question will show you, how much your partner is, firstly, caring about your efforts in the marriage. Usually, it would be women asking this question, but, in the changing times, role reversal isn't a miracle. My point is, both the man or the woman can be stuck in a situation of a 'bare it all'. Thus, before you decide to tie the knot you need to know how appreciative is your partner of your efforts. Another important aspect of this question is knowing your partner, psyche about doing things then and there or whether he/she procrastinates. The answer to this question will also highlight your partner's attitude towards keeping the home clean.
Q2: If I leave my job at some point of time, would mind holding the fort on the financial front for a while, till I can regain the capacity to start working again? Men play the role of provider, protector and the possessor. But, what if at a given point, your man can't go on for some reasons? As a man in the relationship and even as a woman, you need to have a clear understanding of your finances, while walking towards making a family. Financial woes can lead to huge stress in a marriage and in many cases, have led to divorce too. In my advice, both the partners have to accept each other as a responsibility and support, which sticks through every thick and thin and every up and down. This test is to shed light on your 'would be' partner's understanding of your needs.
Q3: Would you like to spend holidays with in-laws and have them come over frequently? In-laws are the never-ending debates in most marriages. The quintessential love and hate relationship with in-laws, sometimes overshadows the existing relationships too. Irrespective of whether you are a man or a woman in the relationship, you have to make your family's importance clear to your partner. Instead of being the perfectly compromising partner and waiting for the things to escalate, it is better to be clear about the expectations and the situations to come. All compromises are myths, when we know the situations beforehand. So, give your partner-to-be the right to make her/his rightful choice.
Q4: Do you like children? If we ever have children, how would we provide for them? These questions are of utmost importance. You have to know whether your partner likes children and what is he/she willing to do for them. There are many couples who believe in adopting and many who believe in not having kids at all. However, your wants have to be clarified right in the beginning. Additionally, you also need to inform your partner about how are you going to provide for them. This will again open up a financial angle, which has to addressed before ringing the wedding bell for a successful marriage.
A compatibility test may give you a score, but it's just a number. Honestly, if you want to know how compatible you are with the person you want to be with, you have to spend as much time as you can with him/her. Try to do as many different things with each other as possible. Find out what are your likes and dislikes. The more likes you have in common, the better are your chances of being with each other, as you have the same thought process, which is the cornerstone of your compatibility. A marriage is based on honesty and integrity, garnished with a dash of spice. It just doesn't end at a gala wedding, but goes a little further than that. So, be clear about it to live happily ever after!
Many of you asked to have the engaged couples questions in our articles appear on one page so the questions are easier to print. Here they are!
Why are we getting married?
What do we as a couple want out of life?
Do you think our relationship will change after we are married?
What do you think we'll be doing in thirty or forty years?
How often do you drink?
Have you ever hit someone?
Do you think it is important to be faithful to one another?
Do you have a criminal record?
What was your childhood like?
Was your family an affectionate one?
Do you think we will have problems with your family during the holidays?
What values do you want to bring from your family into our marriage?
What do you like and dislike about your family?
What do you like and dislike about my family?
What do you like and dislike about your parents' marriage?
What do you like and dislike about my parents' marriage?
How would you describe yourself?
How do you think I see you?
Am I a jealous person?
Do I have trust issues or feel insecure?
How important is affirmation to me?
Do I handle compliments well?
What is your love language ?
Do you think we listen to one another well?
Do you think it is important to know one another's physical and mental health histories?
Will you clean the toilet?
How are we going to divide up the household chores?
How do you want to spend our days off?
What are your expectations about how we will spend our free time?
Do you believe that we should be doing everything together?
Can we each pursue our own interests?
Do you need time alone?
How would you feel if I want a night out with my friends now and then?
How will we make sure we have quality time together?
How much time will we spend with our in-laws?
Can we talk about money?
Are you a saver or spender when it comes to money?
How much do we owe in debts and what are our assets?
Do you want to have a budget?
Where does our money go?
Should we have a joint checking account or separate accounts or both?
Who is going to be responsible for making sure that bills are paid on time?
Do you consider going to the movies and having a vacation every year a necessity or a luxury?
What are our financial goals?
Do you have any outstanding fines or debts?
What are our future plans for purchasing a home?
Do we both know where our important financial documents are located?
Do you want to have children?
Do we want to have children?
If we decide we do, how many children do you want to have?
How long should we be married before having children?
What kind of parent do you think you will be?
What is your parenting philosophy?
Will one of us stay home after we have children?
What type of birth control should we use if we want to postpone or prevent parenthood?
How do you feel about adoption?
Do you have any children already?
Does religion play an important part in your life?
Do you think faith and spirituality are important in a marriage?
What is your image of God?
Can we talk about sex?
Should we talk about sex?
Are you comfortable discussing your sexual likes and dislikes?
What are your expectations of our sexual relationship?
How will we make decisions together?
Are we both willing to face into difficult areas or do we try to avoid conflict?
Do you think we have problems in our relationship that we need to deal with before our wedding?
Do we handle conflict well?
How are we different?
Do you think our differences will create problems in our marriage?
Do you expect or want me to change?
Can we both forgive?
Are we both willing to work on our communication skills and to share intimately with each other?
Love your partner as yourself is the golden rule of a marriage. How to do that?
10 practical ways in the article below & I hope all this info. will help you in marriage.
There are many rules and regulations in this world in every area of expertise. We need them to properly relate to each other in traffic, in school, at work and basically anywhere. Can you imagine the traffic without rules? Can you imagine airplanes flying without any flight order? Most of us will admit that it would mean chaos and a sure way to death due to the imminent collisions.
Right but how about marriage? Who is to establish the best rules for it? Well, who made the rules for the traffic? The inventors of cars! The same way, the Inventor of marriage, namely God, gave the rules for a happy marriage. Yes, He made the man and woman different to complement each other and not to compete against each other. But often times, in our competitive society, we tend to forget that marriage doesn't work best if we apply competition.
Jesus, the Son of God said that the greatest commandment of them all is to love your neighbor as you love yourself. When applying this commandment to marriage, it means to love your husband/wife as you love yourself. That implies putting his/her wishes above yours, giving in to make the other happy. Hmm...this sounds a bit hard, doesn't it? Someone once said that if you marry because you want your partner to make you happy, you married for the wrong reason; the right reason should be to marry so that you could make your partner happy. You love him/her, you want to see him happy right? But well, you might say, I want him/ her to be happy but not in the detriment of my own happiness!
The surprising thing though is that in the process of pleasing your mate, you'll be the happy one! Unexpected, isn't it? However, loving your partner applies to both sides; you have to keep in mind that respect is a must. I want to emphasize the fact that pleasing your partner does not mean a "puppy - master" relationship! No, in fact, such a relationship lacks respect, fact that sooner or later will lead to unwanted consequences.
Women and men are equally valued in the eyes of God; yes they have different roles but respect is a main ingredient of any happy couple. See more about what loving your partner as yourself means in the excerpt below taken from Steve Arterburn.
Ten Biblical Rules for a Happy Marriage reflect the most important facets in a marriage:
1. Never bring up mistakes of the past. Stop criticizing others or it will come back on you. If you forgive others, you will be forgiven (Luke 6:37).
2. Neglect the whole world rather than each other. And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process? (Mark 8:36)
3. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. And don't sin by letting anger gain control over you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry (Ephesians 4:26).
4. At least once a day, try to say something complimentary to your spouse. Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit (Proverbs 15:4).
5. Never meet without an affectionate welcome. Kiss me again and again, your love is sweeter than wine (Song of Solomon 1:2).
6. "For richer or poorer" - rejoice in every moment that God has given you together. A bowl of soup with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate (Proverbs 15:17).
7. If you have a choice between making yourself or your mate look good, choose your mate. Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it's in your power to help them (Proverbs 3:27).
8. If they're breathing, your mate will eventually offend you. Learn to forgive. I am warning you, if another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him (Luke 17:3,4).
9. Don't use faith, the Bible, or God as a hammer. God did not send His Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it (John 3:17).
10. Let love be your guidepost. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged (1 Cor. 13:4,5).
If I can't say it to your face, then I'll say it to your heart. There are crazy but memorable ways to express your love. If this is honest proposal, she will say ' Accepted!!
Ways to say I love you.
My love for you never dies Like a candle that never goes out, My love for you burns on and on. Please say yes as I ask you this, Sweet angel of God, pure precious dove, Will you marry me my love? - Melanie
The loveliest part of life starts from childhood. Childhood teaches you to love everyone. But later we start running away from love once we grow up. We consider love as foolish acts but we do it and we forget. But the best part of life is hidden in such nameless and foolish acts e.g. proposing to girlfriend or lover. Anytime if you find anything missing although you have everything is nothing but love. Why? No reasons. Nobody has yet understood the reasons of doing foolish and stilly marry activity of love.
Let me know what crazy thing have you done to express your love? If it is not crazy, that's no expression of love.
Abel says "Give ten real roses to your loved one and then give her one fake rose then tell her my love will last until all the roses die."
Pretty impressive! Isn't it? There are many crazy ways to express your love to someone special. Free your mind and heart. Think only about him or her and start reading crazy tips.
Old 1 but Gold 1:
Get down on knee with a single rose clenched between your teeth and have a beautiful ring on palm and say ' Will you marry me?'. The more people around you at a time, more you successful or unsuccessful in expression. But be brave!!
Contact your favorite radio jockey of radio station to play a song that she loves. Put your love message. Make sure other than she, her roommates or hostel friends are listening this song and message.
Kiss the Ground and Showered her with Flowers
Joshua's girl suggests a good idea. Take Hershey kisses and place them on the floor from the front door to the bathroom. At the shower, put a bouquet of flowers in a vase. Among the flowers, place a card with love note. " Now that I've kissed the ground you walk on and showered you with flowers, Will you marry me? "
On the Street!!
Take a chalk and write in big letters 'I will make your road of life smoother full of happiness and love. Will You Marry Me?' on the street road outside her house. But beware of her father's dogs and gun.
Has she a car?
Scratch your proposal in the dust on her car's windshield. Make sure no security guard is watching you.
Do you know cooking?
"A good way to impress her or him is to invite at home to taste meal which you prepared with love & joy," says Jennifer. Candle light dinner should be excellent idea. Later you can discuss what you like or love while being with him or her.
End of Weekend
If you have an opportunity to be with her, spend nice time full of joy and love. Make her week happier then it had been ever. Propose her on last moment of last evening. Wait!! What to gift? Place love ring in the smallest box with set of gift-wrapped boxes.
Do you exchange book?
Put a note in a book. Make sure you have written from heart.
Put a teddy bear in the middle holding the ring and a note asking her to marry you with sneak fill with over-flowing flowers.
You may gift a watch to your loved one and with title of 'Marry me'.
Get latest love song album that means something like - 10 ways to say 'I Love You'.
Is it Christmas Eve?
Hanging an engagement or marriage ring with special notes from the top of the Christmas tree, instead of a star or a fairy.
Send a full-page ad in magazine or newspaper. Or put comments in Interview. This may be risky but nothing wrong!! Do you want to propose through billboard or in between running movie in theater?
Thoughts & Diary!!
Write what you think of her and your relationship with her in a diary. Borrow from your heart that takes breath for her. Propose her on last page. Say you cannot go on in life without her company.
Show Your Face!!
Be a real hero. Make your own film and propose with your charming and truthful face. She would love you to see proposing her. If you are really brave, make it real.
With flowers or with color; on the roof or on the wall but paint your message!! Let her take a fly and see your message.
Candle on Beach
Choose a local beach site on non-windy day. Light the candles in a line saying, "Will you marry me" in very big letters. Wait for sun to hide.
Words from Last Para
"If I can't say it to your face, then I'll say it to your heart," says Mary Jane. There are number of ways to express!! But all your efforts should be full of love and honest.
Love the heart that hurts you, but never hurt the heart that loves you. Make sure any of your effort should hurt her feelings!!
These are the bare minimum basics that you should know about your bride/groom to be. If you don't already know these things, find out!
One of the reasons that people don't have successful marriages is because they didn't have lengthy and serious conversation before they got married. Here is a list of questions that can help you confirm that you truly found the right person, or it can let you know that you shouldn't rush into that commitment. Honesty is really key, and if you know these things about your mate, and vice versa, it could minimize the chances of cold feet on the big day.
10. Personal hygiene. This is important, but not as important as everything else. Cleanliness is more important to some people than others. Personal care is a very obvious thing to see when you are dating, but you need to know how they live. How often do they tidy their home? Wash dishes? Vacuum? People are either messy or tidy in general. Which one are they, and can you live with it?
9. Living Habits. Are you a morning person? What about your mate? How much television do they watch? Do they keep a budget or buy everything on impulse? How much do they work? For example, bathroom time, bedtime, and quality time are really important, and you need to know if there is major conflict with lifestyle timing. Handling money is also an issue that has to be agreed upon before the knot is tied. You also need to discuss who is going to cook and clean.
8. What gets on their nerves? If you are truly ready to marry someone, this is an easy question. Believe me, if you haven't gotten on their nerves yet, either they just didn't tell you, or you will soon find out. No matter how much you love them, I am sure you can think of something that you don't particularly like. Be honest about it with them, and practice not getting on each other's nerves.
7. Their love language. Gary Chapman has a great book called The Five Love Languages. Sometimes people feel the most loved when you say heart-felt things to them. Others feel the most loved when they get a thoughtful gift. The way a person feels the most loved is their 'love language.' It can be physical touch, quality time, or acts of service, as well as encouraging words or gifts. Make sure that you both speak each other's language so that you can touch each other with the deepest love possible.
6. What about children? Do you want children? How many? Do you and your partner want the same amount? It is also extremely important that you both agree on discipline methods. Raising children should be at least discussed and outlined before you say 'I do.'
5. Family relationships. What is their family like? How do they treat their family? How does their family treat them? It is not necessarily true that they will treat the new family you are creating in the same way, but knowing this can help you understand them better. Much of their personality is probably bits and pieces that come from the way they were raised, and how their family acts. All families have issues, but make sure that you are comfortable with the closeness, or distance, of their family to your new lives.
4. How do they handle hard times? Marriage is not always easy. There will be disagreements. You and your partner will be tired after work sometimes. The both of you might even end up needing some personal space. Besides the minor conflict, sometimes major problems come up. The loss of a job, unplanned pregnancy, miscarriages, death in the family, car accidents, and serious illness are all factors of life that you can't always predict. Will your partner, or you, fall apart? Will you be able to comfort and encourage each other? Will you be committed to each other, even if the life you are planning doesn't happen the way you pictured it?
3. Moral standards/religious beliefs. Religion can be something in the back of a person's mind, or the central focus of their lives. Most people are in the middle of the extremes. If you have different religious beliefs, how will you raise the children? You don't necessarily have to agree on every minor moral issue, but you should agree on the ones that you are most passionate about.
2. Expectations of marriage. From household chores to checkbook balancing, what does your partner expect you to be responsible for? What do you expect from them? Do you expect gifts and romance all the time or do you figure that once you are married you're 'passed' all of that? What about the frequency of sex? How does your partner feel? You both need to come away with a definition of marriage and will help the both of you understand what you really expect.
1. Life goals. The moment you are so in love and you are so sure that they are the one for you, the first thing you should confirm is their life goals. It is the age-old question that everyone should ask: "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" Take it a little further and ask: Where do you want to be in 20 years? What are their career goals? Where do they want to live? Are they goal oriented or do they flow through life going wherever the wind takes them? Everyone should have a basic plan and a dream. Find out if that is really what you want to share down the road.
You just can't know everything about a person. The years ahead will challenge you, and you will learn much more about them and yourself as time goes on. If you cover the basics and both stay committed, you should have a long and happy marriage.
Do you feel that reconnecting with someone you are "connected for life", has become one of the most difficult challenges you have to face? Want the same spark again in your relationship? Let's go through the things you need to focus on in order to reconnect with your spouse, things which are always there, but you never actually pay attention!
It's a beautiful feeling when you spend your life with the love of your life! You not only live with the person, but you are a part of the person now. Having your own little world with your spouse and kids makes one feel eternally blessed. But, after spending a first few blissful years in matrimony, it so happens at times that the multiple responsibilities of kids, family, work and other day-to-day activities; creates a gap between you and your spouse. The busyness from fulfilling the needs of the children, fulfilling the boss's expectations, makes you so tied up that you hardly get the time, or even the feeling of holding your spouse's hands, or just kissing your spouse without any reason, or, maybe spending some quality time with your spouse! And then you realize that the spark that held your marriage together is missing. When such a stage comes, it is crucial to immediately start taking efforts for reconnecting with your spouse before it is too late.
Ways to Recover and Reconnect With Your Spouse
Reconnecting with your spouse doesn't require rocket science techniques, but it does require simple and conscious efforts to regain the spark in the relationship. You need to find the person whom you fell in love with, with whom the world seemed so beautiful, even with its problems. You need to find the person with whom you vowed to be with, always, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health. You not only need to find your spouse, you also need to find yourself, find what you used to be before the chaos and the responsibilities. Responsibilities were there even then, then why is there a need to reconnect in your marriage? Here is what you can do.
Don't Panic Over Small Issues
Many of us won't admit it, but we tend to get all hyper over small stuff after marriage and kids, without even realizing it! First things first, panicking and shouting will NOT be the solution to the issues! On the contrary, this attitude tends to create a gap between you and your family, and you would never want to do that! Be relaxed and calm. Try to solve the problems or situations in a calm tone and NOT by shouting and panicking. Shouting leads to arguments and arguments leads to fights! You want to support and not leave your spouse alone! Before you react to a problem, just think if all the panicking and shouting is even worth it? Will it really matter in the long run? Maybe the problem won't, but the words and attitude will definitely affect the relationship between you and your spouse!
Choose an Alternative Over Clashing Opinions
You can't have the same thinking and opinions as your better half. There always comes a time when you just can't do things the way your spouse wants them. I have no idea why, but this happens almost every time after marriage! If you and your spouse have different opinions about an issue and if you can't accept what he/she says, then choose a plan C instead! Many of the long time married couples follow this policy and guess what, they are still together and very much connected! :)
Look at the Bright Side
No matter what life has to offer you, looking at the bright side of the situation. Being encouraging during troubled times can do wonders in your relationship with your spouse! No one wants more load when it's difficult to handle what one is already weighed with. Things can be hard and frustrating for the both of you, but then, right now your spouse would need you, and you need to be there with your spouse in every possible way. Be the positive strength and support and the bond will grow more strong.
Take Offs on the Same Days
Spending some quality time together isn't possible during normal days where you are surrounded with your kids, or, when your friends and relatives know that you are there at home and they can easily barge into your crib. What is required to walk the gap between you and your spouse, is to spend some quality time alone. Send the kids to school and then spend some time together! May be, go out for lunch or watch a movie, you can also visit places you used to visit when you guys weren't married. Talk about the good memories, the romance that you did, the crazy things you did to court each other..., and you can suddenly start seeing the lover in your spouse again!
Resurrect Your Hobbies
All of us have hobbies, but living a life full of responsibilities and commitments, pushes us away from them. At weekends, instead of following your usual routine, why not spend time with your family and YOUR SPOUSE in doing your hobby. For example, if you like cycling or surfing, why not drive to the beach and do all that! This will also give you opportunity to express your affection and show your warmth to your spouse forgetting all your worries and responsibility, at least for that very moment.
Take Your Spouse for a Date
Recreate the romance in your life by having date nights! What to do with the kids? Let them go for a sleepover at a friend's, or a relative's place. Once in a week or two is no big deal! And then enjoy your date night. This will make you wanna dress up to impress your spouse just like old times, wearing your best, going to your favorite restaurant and having a sip of your favorite wine, along with some good food and music! Try to exchange gifts, they don't need to be expensive, but just a sweet little something that you and your spouse can cherish forever can do wonders. All of it will make you realize that you still love your spouse and so does he / she.
Be More of a Friend Than a Spouse!
There is no greater joy than marrying your best friend, isn't it? Don't let the best friend fade away in being a spouse! What's the difference? Best friends never argue, they advice. Best friends are not demanding, they are giving. So try to be the best friend and notice the difference.
Wake Up Your Sense of Humor
One of the most important factor is to keep your sense of humor alive. A lot of issues when dealt with humor can be a lot easier to deal with. Moreover, if you can manage to smile with your spouse in difficulties, there is no better way of living life than this!
Sex... Yes, it is Important!
With kids, jobs, responsibilities, and other social commitments, the intimacy between you and your spouse is compromised, which is a major reason behind you guys drifting from each other. Bring back that passion again, bring back the hot romance. You both know it that you need it, so instead of waiting for the other one to initiate, why don't you take the responsibility to arrange the second honeymoon. It needn't be an exotic location, you could do it in your own bedroom. Plan it out in a way when you have the whole house to yourself. Decorate the room with flowers and scented candles. Why not have a steam shower together, and bring the passion on! Even on a normal day, leave naughty messages on his table, give him an unexpected kiss, give him a massage when he is back home tired. And gents, the same is expected from you!
Have a Short Memory
Always remember what is worth a smile, and try to forget what brings tears. It's difficult to let go of things said and heard in the past due to arguments or fights. But then, who doesn't tend to spill out harsh words in anger? Realize that your spouse is also a human. Learn to forgive and forget. Don't cling to the past and make your present and future worse! If your spouse has apologized and is sorry from the heart, then you need to be forgiving too.
If you and your spouse are religious, then the best way to emotionally reconnect is to pray together. Hold each others hands, listen to each other when praying. Remember, you guys are not complaining, but just telling God how you feel. May be you and your spouse can do something to answer each others prayers. Apart from that, the feeling of being together once again in the presence of God, will give you a sense of togetherness and belonging.
If You Are Wrong, Apologize!
Ego is something that should never be allowed to come in between couples. I mean ego for what? For who is right? Common!! When it comes to you and your spouse, it should be 'WE' and not 'I'. Ego comes where there is an 'I'. You are united as one and that is how you should take your relationship. So, apologize when you are wrong! There is no harm in that. Swallow your pride and then never let it come back again in between you and your spouse!
Give Each Other Space
Never nag! Even if you guys are married, you still have other people in your life, other hobbies, other friends! It's not always possible to be a part of your individual interests, together as couples. It's important that you accept each other with your individual worlds. Give each other some space, let your wife have a girls night and let your husband go to watch baseball with his friends once in a while.
Show Each Other the Trust
I remember a quote that I happened to read once, "Apologize when you are wrong and shut up when you are right." Even if you are quiet you know that the trust will always be there no matter what. What is most important to sustain a relationship is the trust! Place and show your spouse that you trust him / her at all times. These words work as magic and the support that these words generate, can build up a strong base in your relationship.
Be a Kid with the Kids
You don't always need to show your responsible mature side! At times, wake up the kid inside you. Be playful, be cheerful, play and laugh with the kids and your spouse. The entire family can play together, laugh together, spend some quality time together! How does it help reconnecting with your spouse? You are showing your fun side and that is one way of spicing up your relationship with your spouse, isn't it?!! And laughter once again proves to be the best medicine!
I hope this article has proved to be of help to reconnect your marriage. These steps are just small, but important observations that we fail to notice in our busy schedule. All you need to remember, is that your schedule, your work, should revolve around your family and NOT the other way round, which is usually the case. The journey of reconnecting with your partner and falling in love again can be as romantic and exciting as the time you first fell in love. In this case, you are just making attempts to fall in love all over again! All the best.
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