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My husband drugged me and he raped me twice. Is there a way to make it work?

I have been married almost 4 yrs now. To what I thought was a great man. It was approx 2 mos after we were married,we were having sex and he got really excited and forced himself (anal sex)on me. I screamed cried and clawed the more I moved the more it hurt. When he was done he looked scared and apologized. I felt bad for him and forgave him. He did however do it again about a month later. Again I did not know what to do but forgive him. He's tried since them but I've threatened to leave so he stops. A few months ago I finally caught him he had been drugging me so he could do this. Since I had evidence in my hand he had to confess. I have 2 girls I don't want to raise them without a daddy. He is good to them, he provides for them, he takes us places,he does not drink,gamble,cheat or go to bars. He works everyday and is home every night. We just recently lost twins at 20 wks. I do not want to play the singles game. He has went to counseling and we talked to the preacher now what?

get the hell out

i am all for therapy, but until he is well, you need to leave.  protect your kids.  he is not a daddy, he is a RAPIST.  better no daddy then to have a rapist in your home.  how do you know what he will do to your 2 girls?  you don’t need to play the singles game.  what you need to do is to raise your daughters in a safe environment without a rapist in your home.  you need to have respect for yourself and not settle for a sick individual.  i think whatever counseling he needs, it will take a long time.  so, he works every day, and he doesn’t drink, gamble, cheat or goes to bars.  so he appears to be good to them, so what.  how do you know that he hasn’t been real good to them--sexually.  he is endangering your life with using drugs on you.  who knows what else he is doing with those drugs.  IF YOU CARE FOR YOUR DAUGHTERS, THEN YOU NEED TO GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE.  YOU CAN NOT LIVE WITH A RAPIST.  that was a violent act he did on you, he had no respect for you, he did not love you, he did not like you.  and what are you teaching your daughters?  that it is okay to be raped, to be disrespected to endure a violent rape?  you need to protect your girls.  you are responsible for them.  you need to nurture them and not expose them to a rapist who is a sick individual.  you need to stop thinking about yourself and your need to have a man and think about the safety of your kids.  i wish you luck and GOD bless.

OK... this is wrong on so many aspects. Your husband is a criminal, is a serial rapist and has committed numerous

felonies on you.  You're a victim.  Report him to the police, take out a restraining order and divorce him.  You may not be the only person he's been raping.

He is a sex offender, and needs to be convicted, put in prison and be a registered sex offender for the rest of his life.

If he's gone to counselling, his counsellor is required by law to report him, as is your pastor.

He is human trash, and you need to get yourself and your kids away from him as quickly as possible.  You know what he is doing is wrong.  What are you waiting for?  For him to do it to your children?

You talked to the preacher?  Of course you did, yur husband is a good god fearing christian, isn't he?

I'm so sorry that anyone has to go through anything like this.

Get out now. Your daughters are too precious to have to deal with a father like that. And remember, the mother can be the last to know when sexual abuse is going on in her home. Protect your daughters and get yourself to a lawyer/shelter or where ever. Counseling hasn't helped him, please get out of there. Why would you want to live with and raise your children with a rapist?
If a man had broken into your home and done this, would you feel comfortable inviting that person back in?? Your husband is just such a man- he became a stranger to you on the first rape. I don't think you knowingly married a rapist, and yet he covered up that part of his psyche until you'd married him.Please, get out now. I hope you are able to let us know what happens. You've stumbled across a very caring and kind group of people here.Good luck- it'll be the hardest, best thing you can do for yourself and your daughters.

I see from the info in the DB that you and the children are out of the house.

Keep it that way. Sign those divorce papers, and do everything you can to protect yourself and your children from this man. He’s shown that he doesn’t CARE about you, what you want, or what is good for you. He cares about what HE wants—to the extent of raping you and drugging you. There’s no fixing it—he has proven, repeatedly, that you cannot trust him. Even if he’s been a good father to your girls up to this point, where sexual matters meet his self-interest, he’s proven that he is not to be trusted, and the older they get, the riskier the situation is. And if I were you? I’d go to the police—in a red-hot minute. Whether or not you press charges, his actions should be known—on the record--because what is he going to do when he doesn’t have a convenient outlet for his desire at home? Any woman he attempts to begin a relationship with is at risk. Who knows who he'll find to date, take them somewhere, drug them and rape them? If he’ll do that to his WIFE, what would protect a stranger? If you can’t bring yourself to do that, I would, at the VERY least, go to my divorce lawyer and I would make double-sure to provide a complete and very detailed account of what he’s done on file with that lawyer, with instructions that would allow the lawyer to take that account to the authorities if he or she saw a need.



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